


His Big Messy Best Friend/Enemy

by Talax



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Sportacus is just really into Robbie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:19:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talax/pseuds/Talax
Summary: Sportacus considers what it is about Robbie that makes him love him so much, and what is is that keeps him from asking him out.





	His Big Messy Best Friend/Enemy

**Author's Note:**

> I like to ramble in character sometimes to help me understand my own brand of characterization and to help guide how I write Sport & Rob. Some friends were interested and encouraged me to post one of my character studies so! Here you go!

His whole adult life, Sportacus had been dating series athletes: people who pushed him to work harder, do better, win more, make more money.

He hated it.

He was solemnly sworn off dating, at least for a while, when he was called to Lazytown. Still tender from his ex, an intensely serious tennis player he met at the gym. They’d dated for just six months, but it was enough to turn him off from dating for a long while. Sportacus had such a bad time with him. He tried to get Sportacus to play ranked, said that Sportacus could easily win some small tourneys and buy a huge luxury house. A _house_. On the _ground_. Sportacus was never so offended in his life.

Before the tennis player, there was the football player who got too angry at games; the swimmer who would get mad at Sportacus for goofing around in the pool; the skater that wanted to practice until they were both bleeding; the wrestler who had been a little fun until he wanted them both to do a no-carbs, protein-only diet.

So no more dating. No more guys. Men in the adult world were overly-competitive and controlling; they took the fun out of sports, and out of life itself. He was happy to be alone and do his own thing. A little lonely, but free to invent new exercises, to make complicated fruit sculptures, to discover more and more complicated ways to do simple tasks. Just to be his own weird self.

But then there was Robbie. 6’2”, pants up to his nipples, pompadour shiny and solid as a rock. Robbie who spent days not speaking him, just stomping around and talking to himself and hiding behind his peculiar cake slices bigger than his head. The first time they spoke Robbie twirled him around his arm, stuck out his tongue in many funny faces, and spilled slimy smell goo all over his shoes. Not to mention Robbie gave him those fake shoes that made him dance around like even more of an idiot than usual.

He should have been mad.

But it was so much _fun_.

If he wasn’t mad at that, he should definitely have been mad at Robbie trying to destroy their sports field, or him cheating at every leg of the race, or definitely Robbie poisoning him. Okay so he was a little mad about being poisoned. And he was really mad about Robbie giving him a fake crystal when Stingy was in trouble. Robbie could go over the top with his villainy.

Sportacus knew he was going to have to break his no-dating rule when Robbie framed him, a guy who doesn’t eat sugar, for eating a cake. He had a full Sherlock Holmes costume on! He held a very rigged trial and made the mayor be the judge! He made everyone in town watch as he locked Sportacus in a makeshift jail cell that he could lift with one hand. 

Sportacus went home that night and found he was buzzing. He couldn’t stop laughing. “Guilty boys go to jail”? What a perfect balance between sexy and just plain stupid. He was in love already.

Robbie kept on acting malicious and spiteful and trying to kick Sportacus out of town. But Sportacus understood pretty quickly that Robbie wasn’t really trying to kick him out of town. He was mostly just trying to be involved in the fun. And he usually dragged Sportacus into the chaos with him, and Sportacus was absurdly grateful for that. He was the opposite of every guy he’d ever dated. He was so silly and fun and _lazy_ , which he should have hated, but he actually really loved. He was smart and creative and outrageous and hilarious and sexy. His knight in shining spandex.

Robbie was his big messy silly enemy/best friend (emphasis on the best friend).

And Sportacus wanted Robbie to be his big messy silly enemy/best friend/boyfriend (emphasis on the boyfriend).

But Sportacus kept using his antiquated “no dating” rule as an excuse to put off making any moves with Robbie. He knew Robbie was nothing like his past boyfriends and he knew (or at least, strongly strongly suspected) that Robbie was into him too. But Sportacus was painfully shy, interacting with people outside of his two comfortable practiced interactions (playing sports & saving people) was… Intimidating… 

Robbie was weird and awkward too, so Sportacus was afraid that they would multiply each other's awkwardness and totally muck up the fragile friendship half of their relationship (maybe even the enemies part too!). Sportacus sometimes suspected that Robbie let his plans get away from him specifically so that Sportacus would save him and they could at least have that to talk about… 

So Sportacus kept that up for years, saving people and then disappearing back to his ship, savoring the games Robbie and the kids dragged him into, watching from the distance the games he wasn't invited too.

Robbie did the same thing. Robbie and his periscope; Sportacus and his spyglass. Robbie alone underground; Sportacus alone in the sky. The only difference was Robbie would actually enter the fray without being invited and make his own fun. Sportacus was… endlessly jealous… and then endlessly disappointed. If Robbie could approach the kids why didn't he ever approach Sportacus? Had Sportacus misjudged Robbie? Maybe Robbie really did hate him. These were the kind of persistent thoughts that gave his solo exercise sessions a but of anxious desperation and kept him up past 8:08.

But then, Robbie would include Sportacus in his games again and Sportacus would have an excellent time. On those days, after a couple years, Robbie seemed so comfortable with their warm feelings, expressing his desire to be included openly, playing their games with less content than ever. 

But neither man was willing to make a move. Sportacus was going mad with years worth of unspoken truths, undeniably chemistry, sexual tension… feeling paralyzed to attempt to move their relationship forward. Even when he was sure that Robbie’s feelings of contempt were totally fabricated in a thinly veiled attempt to push the hero away. Even when Sportacus was at his most self-assured and bravest, he just didn't know what to do. Robbie always initiated their interactions, controlled where there interactions went, ran off when he felt the conversation was over. How in the world could he ask out a man who wouldn't have more than 5 minutes of conversation with him? 

“Hey Robbie, I've noticed you have a huge crush on me and I thought we could make out some on a regular type basis.”

“Hey Robbie, noticed you got a boner when I saved you today; I would have helped with that if you had stuck around instead of running away immediately.”

“Hey Robbie, our game was really fun today; I'd love to continue it in your lair where we don't have to keep it G-rated.”

“Hey Robbie, I've had the most intense crush on you for four years and if we don't start dating soon I think we'll both explode.”

Nothing was the right thing to say!! So he wouldn't start the conversation. He'd wait until Robbie did. Waiting and waiting and waiting for the two most awkward people on the planet to initiate the most awkward conversation two people can have. 

Still, he knew they would date eventually, he was happy with their games, and thinking about what wild scenario that would actually get the two of them together was one of his favorite pass times. He could be patient for Robbie.

**Author's Note:**

> Not to be a nerd who always cites things in character studies, but I think this old retired official lazytown website always gives me good insights, https://web.archive.org/web/20060825230815/http://www.lazytown.com/about/property/sportacus
> 
> Sorry if this left you disappointed in them not getting together!! I wrote it specifically while working on In the Garden, so you could read that and pretend its a series? Actually you can read any of my other fics directly after and it should make sense/sedate your craving lol


End file.
